It was probably luck, but I was happy to claim the pat-on-the-back for identifying the perfect candidate for a position at XYZ Technologies (not the real company name). After an intensive search in which we had uncovered more than a dozen candidate profiles that almost fit, I happened upon a fellow from a lab I knew about in an elevator at a technical meeting. I mentioned my search briefly, gave the guy my card, and started to walk out. With my back still towards him, I heard him say, “You ought to talk with Susan Smith, she’s looking.” I hadn’t even had a chance to let my eyes connect with this fellow to thank him when the elevator doors closed. Now, that is what I call a fortuitous elevator pitch!

I had a great meeting with Susan, I liked both her technical and people skills and could tell by her demeanor that she would quickly rise beyond the manager level—her leadership ability seemed to be first rate.

Susan was very familiar with XYZ and knew enough about them to say that although it would be a relocation, she was very interested. I set up an initial interview for her with the firm’s hiring manager, which went well by telephone, and we were off to a scheduled face-to-face interview later that month.

An interview goes south

Although I realized at the time we set up the interview that Susan’s husband was also a technical employee at the same employer, I didn’t have a sense of doom and gloom. Often, two-career relocations are a much tougher proposition for a headhunter, because there is a strong pull by one of the two parties against the relocation. Susan’s husband, on the other hand, seemed entirely supportive of her career interests. Although he would have the headache of the relocation to contend with (and a resulting job search himself) he referred to this as “Susan’s turn for a career decision.” That attitude is the best one to employ when two partners are trying to determine what to do about a job offer.

However, upon debriefing my client company after the interview, I was surprised to learn that the firm wanted to pursue a different candidate. This person was someone whom I considered a good potential, but who would also have to be brought up to speed on a technical niche in which Susan was already accomplished—and in fact a national expert.

“We felt that recruiting Susan would have been a complicated process,” the hiring manager told me. “Although everyone here really liked her and agreed that she would have fit our position nicely, we felt that the issues she will face on a relocation could impact her happiness. This position is crucial to the success of our project. We can’t afford to fill it now and then fill it again in six months.” I realized that arguing with them wasn’t going to change anything. Susan’s personal life had impacted her negatively and I decided to learn as much as I could. I wanted to provide her with some value as she was going to have to walk away from this one.

A good friend, someone whom I had placed earlier in the company, had been a part of the interview panel, so I knew that I could call in a favor and get some specifics from behind-the-scenes about what had occurred on interview day.

It turned out that when asked about “issues involved in a relocation,” Susan described her husband’s expertise and education, his career to date, and his need to relocate with an intact job. Although she didn’t state this, she left the employer with the idea that the only way she would accept an offer would be if her husband had an offer as well, or if they gave her a few months for a long-distance commute. Instead of keeping the two issues separate (her employment and her husband’s employment) she spoke of the financial scenario as two incomes were important to meet their obligations.

All of that was unnecessary conversation. Her goal should have been to get a job offer, and from that point begin the discussion of how to deal with their two careers.

How two careers affect employers

It certainly isn’t true that all dual career combinations get shot down in this manner. Some of them go on to make these moves very successfully. Although the couple involved may find that there is an additional few months of stress involved in the relocation, both people often land on their feet. Sometimes that occurs with the same employer—and that’s just one of the potential positive outcomes in this scenario.

“We have no problem hiring married staff and in fact have a number of couples where both are in our employ, perhaps one in business and one in research,” reports an H/R manager at a San Francisco client company, a smallish boutique R&D firm. “But that is only where we can incorporate them both because their skills fit what we do. We don’t have a corporate policy about it—it just depends on the situation. On the other hand, if they are both scientists and one of them is out of our field, we’ll try to put our resources to work to assist that person in finding work. Once again, nothing formal but we do all we can to help a relocating spouse or significant other.”

While this may be true in some of the better employers, many of them still have difficulty relocating and hiring a couple. Oftentimes companies find that the person who wishes to relocate a significant other expects that the company will have a job for that person, a “two-fer” deal. In my example above, Susan made the mistake of allowing her discussion with the hiring manager to go this direction, quite unintentionally—instead of divorcing the two subjects and making clear that her husband’s employment situation was not in any way related to her ability to accept an offer from XYZ.

Many couples decide that the way to make the move is to leave one party, the one who will be looking for a job, back at the old hometown. While it sounds great to have someone back at the ranch to have a second income, these long-distance job searches don’t usually work well. Employers find that, months and months later, the newly hired employee is still conducting a long-distance romance. The stress this creates adds up, and it is only the rare person who can handle this for more than 6 or 8 months. The first call that comes in from a headhunter with a job offer back in the old hometown and that great new employee is gone. Along with the costs of hiring and training that person.

Here are some recommendations for dual career couples:

• Remember when interviewing that it is not a good idea to present your situation as a “package deal.” More emphasis on your partner’s options only creates a greater possibility that there will be no forthcoming job offer.
• Certain topics in an interview are “taboo” for legal reasons. Know what these are in advance and try to avoid getting caught up in these issues during your interview. Many of these inappropriate questions involve the effects of going to work on your personal life. Your personal life doesn’t need to be a part of the interview.
• In the employer’s eyes, your ability to accept a job offer and start employment should be in no way related to another’s career. If it is, develop a strategy in advance and know how to answer questions about your possible relocation.

It is wonderfully life-enriching to have someone who is important to you who can share your excitement about a new role. Just remember that the best way to plan a job search in this situation is by using good old fashioned strategic planning—and common sense.